Edgar was an odd little boy–“Berenice” Assignment

4 thoughts on “Edgar was an odd little boy–“Berenice” Assignment”

  1. Within one breath, Bernice’s beauty beguiled all senses and doomed the chance for another kindling of thought to ignite the neurons of the monomaniac’s mind. Endlessly, he would contemplate her various virtues and appreciate her appetite for adventure and life as he sat dormant with his mind whirring on a single-thought trek. What a pair they made; her wandering out into the fresh light as he secluded himself in an enclosed room. One day, Bernice’s breath gave her not beauty but a sickness that made her fascinatingly grotesque to her infatuated betrothed. He despised the sight of her new repulsive hypnotism; this repulsion caught him unaware, thus furthering his monomaniac captivation. From the traipsing beauty to the caged beast, he could not rid her from his thoughts. Successfully chipping away at the living monument to splendor she had incarnated, he made of her an animal more alike to himself than he could have possibly anticipated. Once she had poured all that was lovely in life into his mind, until she had become nothing but teeth to him in death. Strange how Egaeus’ mind could hold but one thought and his hand thirty-two teeth.

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    1. NIce job! I applaud you for using the source text!

      The first sentence and the last are very nicely done. I particularly like the last one and its strange morbidity. The first, with all of its alliteration, captures something of Poe’s style as does your word choice throughout.

      Most texts on English usage would have you add an “s” after the apostrophe in the last line. Much of our confusion on this rule comes from AP (Associated Press, not Advanced Placement!) style, which does away with any mark seen as superfluous. Space was and is money for print newspapers and magazines.

      Just an editing idea: Could you get rid of “trek” in sentence two? This is maybe more of a personal taste question, but I think the sentence is more powerful without it. You are free to disagree!

      Again, very nice job!

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  2. Egaeus’s fixation upon Berenice was initially one of joy. His life was despondent and hers was full of vigor. His familiarity was in libraries and halls. Hers was in nature, free of gloom. With time, the fixation turned into one of aberration. The potentcy of life present in her faded to simple lifelessness. His prior bleakness of heart did not dissapate, but rather evolve into a depression, even obsessive insanity. Her initial disease of delight morphed into a full-fledged disease of dispair, and finally, death.

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  3. Their love was that of two different worlds. She saw him as the light of her life; someone she simply could not live without. He simply saw her as a mere pawn in his game of life; someone who could easily be cast aside for a new piece. She would go above and beyond and do anything in her power to help him and make him happy. He’d smack her down just because it entertained him. Though many looked down upon the couple, the love was somehow there, obvious for the woman, but deep down in the man. After all, they both only sought to put a smile on the face of humanity while they watched the world burn.
    (Based on the romance of Joker and Harley Quinn from Batman)(Lame, I know, but it’s all I can think of.)

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