Poe’s Hoaxes, Pt. 2

Here’s my example for the writing assignment in the last post:

Man named “Lucky” missing, possibly eaten by tiger

By Frank N. Berry

A former children’s TV and commercial star, known as “Lucky”, may have been abducted from his home in General Mills last Tuesday. At the crime scene in front of his home, police say that they found what may be part of a foot and a red bandana. They declined to speculate on the nature or owners of these items. Rumors are spreading that he was the latest victim of a tiger said to be roaming this sleepy suburb.

When asked whether he thought this was an abduction or wildlife attack, a neighbor  named Wendell said, “A lot of people have said they have seen a tiger in the neighborhood, but I think that’s hooey.” When asked what he meant, he only offered this, “Mind control.”

Wendell seemed to be corroborating some of the rumors connecting Lucky to an underground pagan cult. It is believed that this group is involved with various forms of “magic” and has one goal of controlling the production of wheat and grain, which are said to be used in their rituals. Lucky was last seen involved in an argument turned brawl with three other men. Only one man was identified, Mark “Pop” Ballou, also rumored to be a pagan magician.

Wendell wouldn’t explain what he meant by his statement but others who did not wish to be named mentioned everything from the tiger being purely part of a mind-controlling spell cast by the cult members in order to hide their real plans to the tiger being a trained pet. Police say they have no evidence yet of a tiger being involved in Lucky’s disappearance, but are not ruling anything out at this point.

Many of his neighbors describe Lucky as friendly, but a bit of an eccentric. His house is multi-colored like a rainbow with purple horseshoes hanging over the front door. Each room had its own color and item. We’ve had access to a yellow room full of hourglasses and stars and a red room, furnished completely in red balloon furniture. One neighbor said, “The house creeped me out. It’s like an Edgar Allan Poe story or something on the bad side in Harry Potter. It kinda looks like a clown threw-up in there. I don’t know. It ain’t right. But honestly, there’s a lot of weirdos around here like that guy who dresses up like Dracula and sells chocolate. It’s quiet, but, man, it’s a freakshow sometimes.”

Could General Mills become the next “Twin Peaks”? Check our website for updates on Lucky.


“Lucky” possibly spotted in Crichton, Alabama.


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