I celebrate Day of the Dead by writing “calaveras literarias.” Some people write poems for loved ones, but another tradition is to write humorous “tombstones.” I write the latter–-or try to. I mostly try to make fun of myself for my students.
Here Lies McClurg (2016)
All day he read in a nook.
I yelled and gave him a look,
“The world is rife
with the stuff of life!”
“No thanks! I’ll just wait for the book.”
Here Sighs McClurg (2015)
There once was a boy named Stephen
Who felt nothin’ was worth believin’,
until he got probed,
by a celestial globe,
now his mind and his butt are a-grievin’.
Here Lies McClurg (2014)
He had no pals, not even a beagle.
On game days, even the sweet became evil.
But before season’s end,
He thought he’d find a friend,
No chance!–for he yelled “Roll Eagle!”
Here Lies McClurg (2013)
He grabbed a second warm cider–
An excuse to sit down beside her.
But he wanted to die
Hearing Miss Muffet reply
“I’d rather go sit by the spider.”
Here Lies McClurg (2012)
He hated the grocery store–
A nightmare more than a chore.
So sad he bid adieu
while looking for glue,
Now he’s the clean-up–aisle two.
Here Lies McClurg (2011)
Slowly her hand was raised.
The others all thought she was brave.
But she wasn’t prepared–
for when the question was aired
her teacher just stopped and he stared.
Here Lies McClurg (2010)
He had but only one wish,
To play in his native English,
But his eyes, they teared,
As he sniffed and he feared,
“They’ll only remember the beard!”
Skull by Trini Mora!
Stephen McClurg 